Choice

Today I made some decisions. I was at the end of my line. I didn't want my kids touching me in Sacrament meeting. I had an underlining anger toward Randy and the Lord. I felt neglected, and as I said before at the end of my line. As soon as the prayer was over I was gone. I let the Primary pres know I was going to be there to teach, but I need to go home for some time to myself. I pulled out of the parking lot in tears and asking myself how did I get to this place? Talking to the Lord in while driving my heart poured out. Telling him my feelings and desires. I made it home, pulled in the drive way and just cried. It is all I could do. I have given everything I have to my husband and kids. My desires are simple, I want my husband to spend time with me and the family. I started writing a list of what I needed. I need him to be home for dinner at 5:30pm. I need him to not bring home work with him. I need him to dictate after every patient. I felt better after writing my list and made it back to church. I was filled with vigor and was ready to continue the day. I felt like my needs were going to be met and it made all the difference. Randy and I talked about my list and he wants everything that I do and is happy to make things work. I am thankful for a wonder Heavenly Father who loves me and encourages me to make choices. I love the gift of the Holy Ghost and for the promptings I feel. I love my Savior who is by my side.